Get all 5 ...and the Native Hipsters releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
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1. |
Goodbye to the Hippo
02:19
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Goodbye to the Hippo
Goodbye to the hippo, the panda and the whale
Goodbye to the slug and the cheeky little snail
We should have planned it, we should have banned it
Now we’ve fucked up the planet, its too fucked up to inhabit
Goodbye to mahogany and other hardwood trees
Hallo to bleeding gums and immune deficiencies
Au revoir to the Dodo, we’re sorry you had to go go go
We use to gaze up at beautiful sunny skies
That was before the retinas Were burnt out of our eyes
We used to watch Dolphins cavorting in the seas
That was be fore we ate them all in tuna fish sandwiches
We use to face the future without a care
Now we’ve got to face the future without any air
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2. |
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Flowers R Machines As Well
My brand of choice is preventing you having a voice
Your ideology is swamping my brand of choice
That’s the trouble with evolution
Nobody wants to swing between the trees
My lack of collateral is putting the price of your peace up
Your desire to drive drives us up the wall
My consumption creates your desire to see me fall
That’s the trouble with evolution
Nobody wants to swing between the trees
Flowers R machines as well (And the sea is freezing)
Can you hear that muffled sound, the world is gagged and bound
The money goes round and round, and it comes out here...
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3. |
ooO Technology
05:45
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ooO Technology
ooO technology
Three cheers for digital bric a brac
Begging to be hung around your neck
Snap snap send
Lets get the kids for the album
Family snaps for instant people
Point it at a beautiful
See relatives smile in the comfort of home
Snap snap send
This is what livings all about
You can stuff Windsor and Newton
With your Nokia in your hand
And your Ipod on your hip
And instant mashed Macprotein on your plate
Won’t that be gr8
Lets get the kids for the album
If they eat their dinners
And grow big and strong
Snap snap send
They can be standing at the airlock
Watching me clean the hovercar
With their Apple in their hands
And their Ipods on their hips
And constant paste and texting all the time
Won’t that be fi9
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4. |
Barry the Bouncing Bee
06:22
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Barry the Bouncing Bee
He lands on a Rose and knows how to keep his balance
Barry the Bouncing Bee
He's about a million times bigger than a flea
He likes to rub pollen on the hairs of his knee
Then he buzzes back home to have his tea
Why is a Bee so free and easy ?
He lands on a Rose and knows how to keep his balance
He's Barry, Barry the Bouncing Bee
He can flap his tiny wings a million times an hour
He likes to lower his stripy bits into a pretty flower
then he buzzes home if it looks like it might shower
Barry, Barry the Bouncing Bee
Why is a Bee so black and yellow ?
He hops off a thistle and flies
Like a wonky missile to another thistle
He's Barry, Barry the Bouncing Bee
He flies through the air like Fred Astair
He leaps tall buildings like he just doesn’t care
Barry, Barry the Bouncing Bee
Why has a Bee such a taste for making honey ?
He sucks up the nectar and Bob's your uncle
He's Barry, Barry the Bouncing Bee
To be or not to be a Bee
Never crosses his tiny little mind
So you can see he's happy to be a Bee,
The happiest Bee you'll find
He loves the flowers so they never seem to mind
He spends his days in sunshine and he’s always very kind
To butterflies and moths
But he has to keep an eye out for the wasps
Because they are horrible
And he does not like them very much
My favourite is Barry the Bouncing Bee
He’s such a lovely Bee
You’d always want to be
Barry the bouncing Bee
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5. |
Abattoir
06:11
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Abattoir
Abattoir, Abattoir,
We’re all going to the Abattoir
Abattoir, It isn’t far
To see the animals die (To see them suffer)
Mrs Cow comes down the road
Unaware that she’s been sold
Heres the butcher with his knife
To chop up Mrs Cow
I wonder how those hens are feeling
Hanging by their necks from hooks in the ceiling
And over there the pigs are squealing
Such a lovely day
Observe this gutter on the floor
Full of blood and bits of gore
This is what we came here for
To see the animals die (To see them suffer)
Chop chop squawk
Chop chop squeal
Moo moo slice slice spurt spurt bleed
With so many mouths to feed
Our furry friends must die
Electrocuting, calmly shooting
If its breathing put the boot in
If you’ve got wings and udders and things
Kiss your arse goodbye
Its as easy as pie (pork pie)
Little Larry lamb looks sweet
Slice him open and hear him bleat
We’d queue halfway down the street
To see the animals die (To see them suffer)
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6. |
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The Rhino and the Meercat
The Rhino and the Meercat went out for a spot of lunch
The Rhino had a muddy bath the Meercat had a hunch
When all the toothpaste in the world was squirted end to end
Do you suppose the Meercat mused teeth were cleaner then?
Did pavements gleam like polished pearl
Were toenails taught to never curl
Was gum disease and ticks and fleas
A thing of the past like mushy peas?
The rhino thought but couldn’t think the Meercat thought too much
To think that if they thought it through it would be double Dutch
The rhino and the Meercat, like chalk and cheese and coal
The Rhino has a little horn, the Meercat has a hole
They look a little different, but then so do you and I
You with your little horn all bent, and I with my third eye
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7. |
You Must Be Sailing
07:11
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You Must be Sailing
I hear the sound of singing, just over my shoulder
Theres a Mermaid in your wine
Pushing out with a boat shirt for a sail or a flag
You’re afloat so you must be sailing
The whale and the drunk both hallucinate
Their intelligence led them to this state
We all want gardens and too much time to dig
You’re afloat so you must be sailing
Doctors came and went away puzzled by what they saw and found
An aroma of fresh backed tarts wafted up the stairs
Within seconds the man claimed to be able to see through the Earth
‘I can see the horizon, but I can’t see the horizon’
Down the Road, over the hill, here I am, here I am
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8. |
M.E.N. Spells Men
05:32
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M.E.N. Spells Men
Who was it invented the wheel
The electric chair and the urge to kill
Still found time to develop the pill
Didn’t have time to learn how to feel
M. E. N …that spells men
And that spells trouble
Do you want some?
Who’s got the third world on its knees
And who wants a slice of the Middle East
Who never admits to being wrong
Can only say I love you in the middle of a song
And that’s only if your sucking on his dong
And the dam things puffed up eight inches long
Who took your parents luxuries
And turned them into your necessities
Who makes a living selling CFC’s
And pumps the shit straight into the seas
Who takes from the poor and gives to the strong
And you wake up next morning to find them gone
M. E. N. …that spells men and that spells trouble
If you want evidence take a look in the rubble
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9. |
Maybe Man
04:51
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Maybe Man
Gonna take a bath man
Gonna take it in the middle of a path man
Gonna buy a fridge brother
Gonna leave it in the middle of a bridge brother
Gonna get me a cooker
Gonna go out and give it to a hooker
Maybe buy a stereo girl
Maybe leave it in the middle of a rodeo girl
Maybe man maybe, maybe buy the works of Byron
Maybe man maybe, you'll have to wait an see man
You can laugh man but maybe man maybe
Gonna take a page man
Gonna tear it out of a book by a Sage man
Gonna buy into a dream sister
Gonna leave it in a stream sister
Gonna get me a west country farmer
Gonna go out and give him to the Dali Llama
Maybe man maybe, maybe make a profit walk on water
Maybe man maybe, you'll have to wait an see man
You can laugh man but, maybe man maybe
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10. |
Scientist
07:40
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Scientist
People with cars, people with scars
Mad professors hiding in hill top villas
Scientist, tuck your microscope
under your arm and walk
Do the scientific shuffle with a smile
Go to sleep and in a dream
Write the solution down
People with bones, people with phones
Mad accountants hiding in high rise temples
Stockbroker, get your pony out and gallop hard
Watch the economic meltdown with a smile
Go to sleep and in a dream
Write the solution down
People in trains, people down drains
Mad dictators hiding in concrete bonkers
President, pick your sick bag up and hobble off
Spin your dirty washing for a while
Go to sleep and in a dream
Write the solution down
People with boats, people with votes
Giant squid hiding in sunken Liners
Steelworker, tuck your rivet gun under your arm and run
Do the happy treadmill with a smile
Go to sleep and in a dream
Write the solution down
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11. |
Why Dose It ?
03:35
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Why Dose It ?
I for one, I look around me, I can’t believe
Is this really all we’ve got to show
A few pathetic, typecast down backstreets the fighting
I’m already, your all ready, why does it happen
Why doesn’t it happen, why?
Bird in hand mean empty tree top
Ride to town mean wait at bus stop
If you more than fifty percent longer
Longer than it takes to peel an orange
Well pack your bags, you agree?
We think we know, we know we don’t
Brick on your head mean you fall over
Coin in the gas mean boiling water
Anything, anything, who wants to?
The doors gonna open, why does it happen
Why doesn’t it happen, why?
Fascinating, slap it on the telly
Even if it takes ten years, gonna find out
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12. |
Thank You For Holding
12:02
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Thankyou For Holding
This song is being recorded
If you want to hear a love song press 1
If you wish to hear a song about football press 2
If you want to hear something very loud press 3
If you want to hear something very soft and soothing press 4
For all other songs please hold…
…Thank you for holding
All our singers are busy with other customers at the moment
But be assured that your interest in our music is important to us
You are now fifth in the queue …please hold
…Thank you for holding
What can I sing for you today
I’m sorry, I do not recognise that song
What can I sing for you today
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13. |
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…ban the Native Hipsters
I wanna stand up, I want to protest
Its on my FCUK vest
I wanna be an anti-capital-ist
Its not a joke its not said in jest
I got it beating in my chest
I want to be counted, I want to protest
Don’t want to run with all the rest
So lets go out - and get pissed
Lets Ban the Native Hipsters…..
I should be arrested for trying to sing
You should be arrested for listening
So lets ban the Native Hipsters
Yeah this is a song about cuming
At the top they cum all the time
But its us that they’re cuming over
Get back in line
I want to take an active role
I wanna have a political goal
I want to stop being a prole
I wanna put rice into your bowl
Show you how to take control
So you can Ban the Native Hipsters
Turn your attention away from the spin
Your lame excuses are wearing thin
Your grand plan has an empty ring
It isn’t economics it’s a goddamn sin
Lets throw history in the bin
I want a world where its win win win
So ban the Native Hipsters
Our top twenty hit is a terrible din
But we look good covered in bling
So ban the Native Hipsters
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14. |
Feed The Pope
01:55
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Feed the Pope
Feed the poor and starve the stars
Take all their money and crush all their cars
And if you hear them starting to moan
Oh please take pity and throw them a bono
please take pity and give them a (second) home
Feed the poor, starve princes and kings
Remove them from power and clip their wings
And if you should notice them missing their take
Oh please take pity and give them some cake
Oh please take pity and hand them a rake
Feed the poor and starve the Pope
Lock up his churches and strip him of hope
And if you should hear him starting to pray
Oh please take pity and bless him today
Oh please take pity, please God make him pay
Feed the poor and starve the poor
If they get fat we won’t like em no more
And if they should ask what the hells going on
Oh please take pity and let them belong
Oh please take pity, or write them a song
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...and the Native Hipsters UK
What started out as a live band evolved into an ongoing recording project. My latest album - ...and the GOLDEN HAMMER is
mainly me singing so it's no longer listed under the native hipster name. The album before that 'Hard Noise To Scumrise is mainly just pure noise.
I’m always interested in people sending me stuff to work with. Contact me
... more
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